## Highlights - In an attempt to stay focused while writing, I bought a 1990s word processor without an internet connection. However, whenever I’d sit down to write, I’d find myself glancing at the bookshelf and soon started flipping through books unrelated to my work. Somehow, I kept getting distracted, even without the tech that I thought was the source of the problem. Removing online technology didn’t work. I’d just replace one distraction with another. ([Location 155](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=155)) - The distractions in our lives are the result of the same forces at play – they are proximate causes that we think are to blame, while the root causes stay hidden. We tend to blame things like television, junk food, social media, cigarettes and video games – but these are all proximate causes of our distraction. Solely blaming a smartphone for causing distraction is just as flawed as blaming a pedometer for making someone climb too many stairs. ([Location 332](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=332)) - Understand the root cause of distraction. Distraction is about more than your devices. Separate proximate causes from the root cause. • All motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. If a behaviour was previously effective at providing relief, we’re likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort. • Anything that stops discomfort is potentially addictive, but that doesn’t make it irresistible. If you know the drivers of your behaviour, you can take steps to manage them. ([Location 368](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=368)) - Time management is pain management. Distractions cost us time, and, like all actions, they are spurred by the desire to escape discomfort. • Evolution favours dissatisfaction over contentment. Our tendencies towards boredom, negativity bias, rumination and hedonic adaptation conspire to make sure we’re never satisfied for long. • Dissatisfaction is responsible for our species’ advancements as much as its faults. It is an innate power that can be channelled to help us make things better. • If we want to master distraction, we must learn to deal with discomfort. ([Location 445](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=445)) - But why not simply fight our urges? Why not ‘just say no’? It turns out mental abstinence can backfire. ([Location 464](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=464)) - An endless cycle of resisting, ruminating, and finally giving in to the desire perpetuates the cycle and quite possibly drives many of our unwanted behaviours. ([Location 476](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=476)) - Without techniques for disarming temptation, mental abstinence can backfire. Resisting an urge can trigger rumination and make the desire grow stronger. • We can manage distractions that originate from within by changing how we think about them. We can reimagine the trigger, the task and our temperament. ([Location 501](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=501)) - While we can’t control the feelings and thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control what we do with them. ([Location 507](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=507)) - Step 1: Look for the discomfort that precedes the distraction, focusing in on the internal trigger A common problem I have while writing is the urge to google something. It’s easy to justify this bad habit as ‘doing research’ but deep down I know it’s often just a diversion from difficult work. Bricker advises focusing on the internal trigger that precedes the unwanted behaviour, like ‘feeling anxious, having a craving, feeling restless, or thinking you are incompetent’.1 Step 2: Write down the trigger Bricker advises writing down the trigger, whether or not you subsequently give in to the distraction, using ‘a journal, a piece of paper, a chart, or an app’. He recommends noting the time of day, what you were doing and how you felt when you noticed the internal trigger that led to the distracting behaviour ‘as soon as you are aware of the behaviour’, because it’s easier at that point to remember how you felt. I’ve included a Distraction Tracker at the back of this book on which you can note the triggers you experience throughout the day. You can download and print additional copies at NirAndFar.com/Indistractable; keep it handy for easy access. According to Bricker, while people can easily identify the external trigger, ‘it takes some time and trials to begin noticing those all-important inside triggers’. He recommends discussing the urge as if you were an observer, telling yourself something like, ‘I’m feeling that tension in my chest right now. And there I go, trying to reach for my iPhone.’ The better we are at noticing the behaviour, the better we’ll be at managing it over time. ‘The anxiety goes away, the thought gets weaker or [is] replaced by another thought.’ Step 3: Explore your sensations Bricker then recommends getting curious about that sensation. For example, do your fingers twitch when you’re about to be distracted? Do you get a flurry of butterflies in your stomach when you think about work when you’re with your family? What does it feel like when the feelings crest and then subside? Bricker encourages staying with the feeling before acting on the impulse. When similar techniques were applied in a smoking cessation study, the participants who had learned to acknowledge and explore their cravings managed to quit at twice the rate of those in the American Lung Association’s best-performing cessation programme.2 One of Bricker’s favourite… ([Location 511](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=511)) - For me, I learned to stay focused on the tedious work of writing books by finding the mystery in my work. I write to answer interesting questions and discover novel solutions to old problems. To quote a classic writer’s motto, ‘The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.’2 ([Location 601](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=601)) - Fun is looking for the variability in something other people don’t notice. It’s breaking through the boredom and monotony to discover its hidden beauty. ([Location 605](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=605)) - Reimagining our temperament can help us manage our internal triggers. • We don’t run out of willpower. Believing we do makes us less likely to accomplish our goals, by providing a rationale to quit when we could otherwise persist. • What we say to ourselves matters. Labelling yourself as having poor self-control is self-defeating. • Practise self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. People who are more self-compassionate are more resilient. ([Location 705](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=705)) - The trouble is, we don’t make time for our values. We unintentionally spend too much time in one area of our life at the expense of others. ([Location 741](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=741)) - Only by setting aside specific times in our schedules for traction (the actions that draw us towards what we want in life) can we turn our backs on distraction. In order to live our values in each of these domains, we must reserve time in our schedules to do so. Without planning ahead, it’s impossible even to tell the difference between traction and distraction. You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it’s distracting you from. ([Location 754](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=754)) - The most effective way to make time for traction is through timeboxing. Timeboxing uses a well-researched technique psychologists call ‘setting an implementation intention’, which is a fancy way of saying ‘deciding what you’re going to do, and when you’re going to do it’.8 It’s a technique that can be used to make time for traction in each of your life domains. The goal is to eliminate all white space in your calendar, so you’re left with a template for how you intend to spend your time each day. ([Location 760](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=760)) - It doesn’t so much matter what you do with your time; rather, success is measured by whether you did what you planned to do. It’s fine to watch a video, scroll social media, daydream or take a nap, as long as that’s what you planned to do. ([Location 766](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=766)) - Keeping a timeboxed schedule is the only way to know if you’re distracted; if you’re not spending your time doing what you’d planned, you’re off-track. ([Location 769](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=769)) - Next, set aside fifteen minutes on your schedule every week to reflect and refine your calendar by asking yourself two questions: Question 1 (Reflect): ‘When in my schedule did I do what I said I would do and when did I get distracted?’ Answering this question requires you to look back at the past week. I recommend using the Distraction Tracker found at the back of this book to note down when and why you become distracted, as per Dr Bricker’s suggestions of noting your internal trigger from Chapter 6. If you became distracted as a result of an internal trigger, what strategies will you use to cope the next time it arises? Did an external trigger, like a phone call or a talkative colleague, prompt you to stop doing what you wanted to do? (We’ll address tactics to control external triggers in Part 3.) Or was a planning problem the reason you gave in to distraction? In which case, you can look back through your Distraction Tracker to help answer the next question. Question 2 (Refine): ‘Are there changes I can make to my calendar that will give me the time I need to better express my values?’ Maybe something unexpected came up, or perhaps there was a problem with how you planned your day. Timeboxing enables us to think of each week as a mini-experiment. The goal is to figure out where your schedule didn’t work out in the prior week so you can make it easier to follow the next time around. The idea is to commit to a practice that improves your schedule over time by helping you know the difference between traction and distraction for every moment of the day. When our lives change, our schedules can, too. But once our schedule is set, the idea is to stick with it until we decide to improve it on the next go-round. Approaching the exercise of making a schedule as a curious scientist, rather than a drill sergeant, gives us the freedom to get better with each iteration. ([Location 775](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=775)) - You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it is distracting you from. Planning ahead is the only way to know the difference between traction and distraction. • Does your calendar reflect your values? To be the person you want to be, you have to make time to live your values. • Timebox your day. The three life domains of you, relationships and work provide a framework for planning how to spend your time. • Reflect and refine. Revise your schedule regularly, but you must commit to it once it’s set. ([Location 800](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=800)) - In this visual representation of your life, you are at the centre of the three domains. As with everything valuable, you require maintenance and care, which takes time. Just as you wouldn’t blow off a meeting with your boss, so you should never bail on appointments you make with yourself. After all, who’s more critical to helping you live the kind of life you want than you yourself? Exercise, sleep, eating healthily and time spent reading or listening to an audiobook are all ways to invest in ourselves. Some people value mindfulness, spiritual connection or reflection, and may want time to pray or meditate. Others value skilfulness and want time alone to practise a hobby. Taking care of yourself is at the core of the three domains because the other two depend on your health and wellness. If you’re not taking care of yourself, your relationships suffer. Likewise, your work isn’t its best when you haven’t given yourself the time you need to stay physically and psychologically healthy. ([Location 810](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=810)) - Schedule time for yourself first. You are at the centre of the three life domains. By not allocating time for yourself, the other two domains suffer. • Show up when you say you will. You can’t always control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task. • Input is much more certain than outcome. When it comes to living the life you want, making sure you allocate time to living your values is the only thing you should focus on. ([Location 852](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=852)) - The people you love deserve more than getting whatever time is left over. If someone is important to you, make regular time for them on your calendar. • Go beyond scheduling date days with your significant other. Put domestic chores on your calendar to ensure an equitable split. • A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. Ensure you maintain important relationships by scheduling time for regular get-togethers. ([Location 946](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=946)) - Syncing your schedule with stakeholders at work is critical for making time for traction in your day. Without visibility of how you spend your time, colleagues and managers are more likely to distract you with superfluous tasks. • Sync as frequently as your schedule changes. If your schedule template changes from day to day, have a daily check-in. However, most people find a weekly alignment is sufficient. ([Location 1031](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1031)) - Interruptions lead to mistakes. You can’t do your best work if you’re frequently distracted. • Open-office floor plans increase distraction. • Defend your focus. Signal when you do not want to be interrupted. Use a screen sign or some other clear cue to let people know you are indistractable. ([Location 1189](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1189)) - Break down the problem. Time spent on email (T) is a function of the number of messages received (n) multiplied by the average time (t) spent per message (T = n × t). • Reduce the number of messages received. Schedule office hours, delay when messages are sent, and reduce the number of time-wasting messages reaching your inbox. • Spend less time on each message. Label emails according to when each message needs a response. Reply to emails during a scheduled time in your calendar. ([Location 1300](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1300)) - Make it harder to call a meeting. To call a meeting, the organiser must circulate an agenda and briefing document. • Meetings are for consensus-building. With few exceptions, creative problem-solving should occur before the meeting, individually or in very small groups. • Be fully present. People use devices during meetings to escape monotony and boredom, which subsequently makes meetings even worse. • Have one laptop per meeting. Devices in everyone’s hands makes it more difficult to achieve the purpose of the meeting. With the exception of one laptop in the room for presenting information and taking notes, leave devices outside. ([Location 1412](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1412)) - You can hack back the external triggers on your phone in four steps and in less than one hour. • Remove: Uninstall the apps you no longer need. • Replace: Shift where and when you use potentially distracting apps, like social media and YouTube, to your desk instead of on your phone. Get a wristwatch so you don’t have to look at your phone for the time. • Rearrange: Move any apps that may trigger mindless checking from your phone’s home screen. • Reclaim: Change the notification settings for each app. Be very selective regarding which apps can send you sound and sight cues. Learn to use your phone’s ‘Do Not Disturb’ settings. ([Location 1505](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1505)) - Being indistractable not only requires keeping distraction out. It also necessitates reining ourselves in. • Precommitments can reduce the likelihood of distraction. They help us stick to decisions we’ve made in advance. • Precommitments should only be used after the other three indistractable strategies have already been applied. Don’t skip the first three steps. ([Location 1744](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1744)) - An effort pact prevents distraction by making unwanted behaviours more difficult to do. • In the age of the personal computer, social pressure to stay on task has largely disappeared. No one can see what you’re working on, so it’s easier to slack off. Working next to a colleague or friend for a set period of time can be a highly effective effort pact. • You can use tech to stay off tech. Apps like SelfControl and Forest can help you make effort pacts with yourself. ([Location 1801](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1801)) - Identity greatly influences our behaviour. People tend to align their actions with how they see themselves. • An identity pact is a precommitment to a self-image. You can prevent distraction by acting in line with your identity. • Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviours consistent with what you call yourself. Call yourself ‘indistractable’. • Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your commitment, even if you’re still struggling. A great way to be indistractable is to tell friends about what you learned in this book and the changes you’re making in your life. • Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a timeboxed schedule, or performing other routines, reinforces your identity and influences your future actions. ([Location 1990](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1990))  ## Highlights - In an attempt to stay focused while writing, I bought a 1990s word processor without an internet connection. However, whenever I’d sit down to write, I’d find myself glancing at the bookshelf and soon started flipping through books unrelated to my work. Somehow, I kept getting distracted, even without the tech that I thought was the source of the problem. Removing online technology didn’t work. I’d just replace one distraction with another. ([Location 155](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=155)) - The distractions in our lives are the result of the same forces at play – they are proximate causes that we think are to blame, while the root causes stay hidden. We tend to blame things like television, junk food, social media, cigarettes and video games – but these are all proximate causes of our distraction. Solely blaming a smartphone for causing distraction is just as flawed as blaming a pedometer for making someone climb too many stairs. ([Location 332](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=332)) - Understand the root cause of distraction. Distraction is about more than your devices. Separate proximate causes from the root cause. • All motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. If a behaviour was previously effective at providing relief, we’re likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort. • Anything that stops discomfort is potentially addictive, but that doesn’t make it irresistible. If you know the drivers of your behaviour, you can take steps to manage them. ([Location 368](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=368)) - Time management is pain management. Distractions cost us time, and, like all actions, they are spurred by the desire to escape discomfort. • Evolution favours dissatisfaction over contentment. Our tendencies towards boredom, negativity bias, rumination and hedonic adaptation conspire to make sure we’re never satisfied for long. • Dissatisfaction is responsible for our species’ advancements as much as its faults. It is an innate power that can be channelled to help us make things better. • If we want to master distraction, we must learn to deal with discomfort. ([Location 445](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=445)) - But why not simply fight our urges? Why not ‘just say no’? It turns out mental abstinence can backfire. ([Location 464](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=464)) - An endless cycle of resisting, ruminating, and finally giving in to the desire perpetuates the cycle and quite possibly drives many of our unwanted behaviours. ([Location 476](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=476)) - Without techniques for disarming temptation, mental abstinence can backfire. Resisting an urge can trigger rumination and make the desire grow stronger. • We can manage distractions that originate from within by changing how we think about them. We can reimagine the trigger, the task and our temperament. ([Location 501](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=501)) - While we can’t control the feelings and thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control what we do with them. ([Location 507](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=507)) - Step 1: Look for the discomfort that precedes the distraction, focusing in on the internal trigger A common problem I have while writing is the urge to google something. It’s easy to justify this bad habit as ‘doing research’ but deep down I know it’s often just a diversion from difficult work. Bricker advises focusing on the internal trigger that precedes the unwanted behaviour, like ‘feeling anxious, having a craving, feeling restless, or thinking you are incompetent’.1 Step 2: Write down the trigger Bricker advises writing down the trigger, whether or not you subsequently give in to the distraction, using ‘a journal, a piece of paper, a chart, or an app’. He recommends noting the time of day, what you were doing and how you felt when you noticed the internal trigger that led to the distracting behaviour ‘as soon as you are aware of the behaviour’, because it’s easier at that point to remember how you felt. I’ve included a Distraction Tracker at the back of this book on which you can note the triggers you experience throughout the day. You can download and print additional copies at NirAndFar.com/Indistractable; keep it handy for easy access. According to Bricker, while people can easily identify the external trigger, ‘it takes some time and trials to begin noticing those all-important inside triggers’. He recommends discussing the urge as if you were an observer, telling yourself something like, ‘I’m feeling that tension in my chest right now. And there I go, trying to reach for my iPhone.’ The better we are at noticing the behaviour, the better we’ll be at managing it over time. ‘The anxiety goes away, the thought gets weaker or [is] replaced by another thought.’ Step 3: Explore your sensations Bricker then recommends getting curious about that sensation. For example, do your fingers twitch when you’re about to be distracted? Do you get a flurry of butterflies in your stomach when you think about work when you’re with your family? What does it feel like when the feelings crest and then subside? Bricker encourages staying with the feeling before acting on the impulse. When similar techniques were applied in a smoking cessation study, the participants who had learned to acknowledge and explore their cravings managed to quit at twice the rate of those in the American Lung Association’s best-performing cessation programme.2 One of Bricker’s favourite… ([Location 511](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=511)) - For me, I learned to stay focused on the tedious work of writing books by finding the mystery in my work. I write to answer interesting questions and discover novel solutions to old problems. To quote a classic writer’s motto, ‘The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.’2 ([Location 601](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=601)) - Fun is looking for the variability in something other people don’t notice. It’s breaking through the boredom and monotony to discover its hidden beauty. ([Location 605](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=605)) - Reimagining our temperament can help us manage our internal triggers. • We don’t run out of willpower. Believing we do makes us less likely to accomplish our goals, by providing a rationale to quit when we could otherwise persist. • What we say to ourselves matters. Labelling yourself as having poor self-control is self-defeating. • Practise self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. People who are more self-compassionate are more resilient. ([Location 705](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=705)) - The trouble is, we don’t make time for our values. We unintentionally spend too much time in one area of our life at the expense of others. ([Location 741](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=741)) - Only by setting aside specific times in our schedules for traction (the actions that draw us towards what we want in life) can we turn our backs on distraction. In order to live our values in each of these domains, we must reserve time in our schedules to do so. Without planning ahead, it’s impossible even to tell the difference between traction and distraction. You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it’s distracting you from. ([Location 754](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=754)) - The most effective way to make time for traction is through timeboxing. Timeboxing uses a well-researched technique psychologists call ‘setting an implementation intention’, which is a fancy way of saying ‘deciding what you’re going to do, and when you’re going to do it’.8 It’s a technique that can be used to make time for traction in each of your life domains. The goal is to eliminate all white space in your calendar, so you’re left with a template for how you intend to spend your time each day. ([Location 760](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=760)) - It doesn’t so much matter what you do with your time; rather, success is measured by whether you did what you planned to do. It’s fine to watch a video, scroll social media, daydream or take a nap, as long as that’s what you planned to do. ([Location 766](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=766)) - Keeping a timeboxed schedule is the only way to know if you’re distracted; if you’re not spending your time doing what you’d planned, you’re off-track. ([Location 769](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=769)) - Next, set aside fifteen minutes on your schedule every week to reflect and refine your calendar by asking yourself two questions: Question 1 (Reflect): ‘When in my schedule did I do what I said I would do and when did I get distracted?’ Answering this question requires you to look back at the past week. I recommend using the Distraction Tracker found at the back of this book to note down when and why you become distracted, as per Dr Bricker’s suggestions of noting your internal trigger from Chapter 6. If you became distracted as a result of an internal trigger, what strategies will you use to cope the next time it arises? Did an external trigger, like a phone call or a talkative colleague, prompt you to stop doing what you wanted to do? (We’ll address tactics to control external triggers in Part 3.) Or was a planning problem the reason you gave in to distraction? In which case, you can look back through your Distraction Tracker to help answer the next question. Question 2 (Refine): ‘Are there changes I can make to my calendar that will give me the time I need to better express my values?’ Maybe something unexpected came up, or perhaps there was a problem with how you planned your day. Timeboxing enables us to think of each week as a mini-experiment. The goal is to figure out where your schedule didn’t work out in the prior week so you can make it easier to follow the next time around. The idea is to commit to a practice that improves your schedule over time by helping you know the difference between traction and distraction for every moment of the day. When our lives change, our schedules can, too. But once our schedule is set, the idea is to stick with it until we decide to improve it on the next go-round. Approaching the exercise of making a schedule as a curious scientist, rather than a drill sergeant, gives us the freedom to get better with each iteration. ([Location 775](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=775)) - You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it is distracting you from. Planning ahead is the only way to know the difference between traction and distraction. • Does your calendar reflect your values? To be the person you want to be, you have to make time to live your values. • Timebox your day. The three life domains of you, relationships and work provide a framework for planning how to spend your time. • Reflect and refine. Revise your schedule regularly, but you must commit to it once it’s set. ([Location 800](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=800)) - In this visual representation of your life, you are at the centre of the three domains. As with everything valuable, you require maintenance and care, which takes time. Just as you wouldn’t blow off a meeting with your boss, so you should never bail on appointments you make with yourself. After all, who’s more critical to helping you live the kind of life you want than you yourself? Exercise, sleep, eating healthily and time spent reading or listening to an audiobook are all ways to invest in ourselves. Some people value mindfulness, spiritual connection or reflection, and may want time to pray or meditate. Others value skilfulness and want time alone to practise a hobby. Taking care of yourself is at the core of the three domains because the other two depend on your health and wellness. If you’re not taking care of yourself, your relationships suffer. Likewise, your work isn’t its best when you haven’t given yourself the time you need to stay physically and psychologically healthy. ([Location 810](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=810)) - Schedule time for yourself first. You are at the centre of the three life domains. By not allocating time for yourself, the other two domains suffer. • Show up when you say you will. You can’t always control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task. • Input is much more certain than outcome. When it comes to living the life you want, making sure you allocate time to living your values is the only thing you should focus on. ([Location 852](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=852)) - The people you love deserve more than getting whatever time is left over. If someone is important to you, make regular time for them on your calendar. • Go beyond scheduling date days with your significant other. Put domestic chores on your calendar to ensure an equitable split. • A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. Ensure you maintain important relationships by scheduling time for regular get-togethers. ([Location 946](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=946)) - Syncing your schedule with stakeholders at work is critical for making time for traction in your day. Without visibility of how you spend your time, colleagues and managers are more likely to distract you with superfluous tasks. • Sync as frequently as your schedule changes. If your schedule template changes from day to day, have a daily check-in. However, most people find a weekly alignment is sufficient. ([Location 1031](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1031)) - Interruptions lead to mistakes. You can’t do your best work if you’re frequently distracted. • Open-office floor plans increase distraction. • Defend your focus. Signal when you do not want to be interrupted. Use a screen sign or some other clear cue to let people know you are indistractable. ([Location 1189](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1189)) - Break down the problem. Time spent on email (T) is a function of the number of messages received (n) multiplied by the average time (t) spent per message (T = n × t). • Reduce the number of messages received. Schedule office hours, delay when messages are sent, and reduce the number of time-wasting messages reaching your inbox. • Spend less time on each message. Label emails according to when each message needs a response. Reply to emails during a scheduled time in your calendar. ([Location 1300](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1300)) - Make it harder to call a meeting. To call a meeting, the organiser must circulate an agenda and briefing document. • Meetings are for consensus-building. With few exceptions, creative problem-solving should occur before the meeting, individually or in very small groups. • Be fully present. People use devices during meetings to escape monotony and boredom, which subsequently makes meetings even worse. • Have one laptop per meeting. Devices in everyone’s hands makes it more difficult to achieve the purpose of the meeting. With the exception of one laptop in the room for presenting information and taking notes, leave devices outside. ([Location 1412](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1412)) - You can hack back the external triggers on your phone in four steps and in less than one hour. • Remove: Uninstall the apps you no longer need. • Replace: Shift where and when you use potentially distracting apps, like social media and YouTube, to your desk instead of on your phone. Get a wristwatch so you don’t have to look at your phone for the time. • Rearrange: Move any apps that may trigger mindless checking from your phone’s home screen. • Reclaim: Change the notification settings for each app. Be very selective regarding which apps can send you sound and sight cues. Learn to use your phone’s ‘Do Not Disturb’ settings. ([Location 1505](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1505)) - Being indistractable not only requires keeping distraction out. It also necessitates reining ourselves in. • Precommitments can reduce the likelihood of distraction. They help us stick to decisions we’ve made in advance. • Precommitments should only be used after the other three indistractable strategies have already been applied. Don’t skip the first three steps. ([Location 1744](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1744)) - An effort pact prevents distraction by making unwanted behaviours more difficult to do. • In the age of the personal computer, social pressure to stay on task has largely disappeared. No one can see what you’re working on, so it’s easier to slack off. Working next to a colleague or friend for a set period of time can be a highly effective effort pact. • You can use tech to stay off tech. Apps like SelfControl and Forest can help you make effort pacts with yourself. ([Location 1801](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1801)) - Identity greatly influences our behaviour. People tend to align their actions with how they see themselves. • An identity pact is a precommitment to a self-image. You can prevent distraction by acting in line with your identity. • Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviours consistent with what you call yourself. Call yourself ‘indistractable’. • Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your commitment, even if you’re still struggling. A great way to be indistractable is to tell friends about what you learned in this book and the changes you’re making in your life. • Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a timeboxed schedule, or performing other routines, reinforces your identity and influences your future actions. ([Location 1990](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B07QCC61Y3&location=1990))